Life?

It's currently past midnight and I am feeling despair.  For no reason, I woke up from what supposed to be a long sleepful night. With nothing to do at 1 AM, I scrolled through my past massages on Instagram, Looking through all the people I have encountered for the past 3 years of my life in the big city. Found plenty of my interesting self. Different parts of me that I left hiden and tucked away over the course of 3 years. Found plenty of mischiefs that I just patterned out. Patterns of me being despair.  Found plenty of interesting men I talked to and somehow lost connection or contact. Found plenty of stupid ideas, moments and conversations I somehow start and continue but never end. Found plenty of little essence of me in each and every one of the conversations. I somehow never change? or did I? Part of me still relates to those conversations. Part of me still somehow found myself in those conversations from lots to little.  I believe I evolved, I am not that me 3 years ago but