Life?

I love the idea of love. Being in love, loving someone. Of course, I love my friends and family. But that other feeling of love you know? That intimate feeling of love. The love that sparks fireworks just like in movies. I love that. That warm. Here a quote from my favorite love story "I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you" - Augustus Waters ; The fault in our stars Can I say I can't wait to be in love? Sounds stupid but really I can't wait to share my love and lust with someone who would appreciate it. "Holding each other soul, laying on the soft and tender love we both have for each other" God, love is great. Even though, I didn't really have a good experience ...

So I just got back into dating after 6 months of break. It feels weird. 6 months ago, I decided to close myself off and focus more on loving myself. "How can you love others without loving yourself first?" Due to my anxiety issue, I find dating harddddd. Every time I get rejected, I feel it's all my fault like something is wrong with me. I must have done something bad to make that person not into me. Everything points to me; it was all my doing. Never have I thought that maybe we just didn't match and I shouldn't try so much for these things, that I should have boundaries between "making somebody love me" and "abusing myself in any way possible so people could love me" And with that, it put me in a horrible h o r r i b l e situation. I was so focused on the other person and not me. I forgot that; dating is mutual and it is okay if one of you doesn't feel the same. There's nothing wrong with that. And with this dating st...