Dating; when you have anxiety issue

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So I just got back into dating after 6 months of break.
It feels weird.

6 months ago, I decided to close myself off and focus more on loving myself.
"How can you love others without loving yourself first?"
Due to my anxiety issue, I find dating harddddd.
Every time I get rejected, I feel it's all my fault like something is wrong with me.
I must have done something bad to make that person not into me.
Everything points to me; it was all my doing.

Never have I thought that maybe we just didn't match and I shouldn't try so much for these things, that I should have boundaries between "making somebody love me" and "abusing myself in any way possible so people could love me"

And with that, it put me in a horrible h o r r i b l e situation.
I was so focused on the other person and not me.
I forgot that; dating is mutual and it is okay if one of you doesn't feel the same. There's nothing wrong with that.

And with this dating stuff; is it none of you two fault.
It just doesn't match or doesn't happen yet.
No need to put yourself in a self-proclaimed "I must have done something wrong"
Even if you did, there are other chances.

IC; Casey Chin

As a person whose biggest fears is being alone for the rest of my life and plus anxiety issue.
Trust me I know, it is hard
"To love yourself, to let other love you and to love others"
But you can do it.
6 months after my break; I think I have reconciled with myself.
During those 6 months I focus on loving myself; self-care; trying to get used to my anxiety issue, trying to overcome it, trying to look past it.

And I think it worked

I still feel panic from time to from about going on dates and starting conversations.
But I am better than before.
I always remind myself that it is okay to not be his type and it is okay if he rejects me AND it is okay that he isn't the one.
"Life is way too complicated to only focus on that"
Love
-Yourself.

To all my people who are struggling with the same or similar issue :)
Soon you will be further than I am.
Soon you will find what I have not found yet.
Soon you will say "When you DON'T have anxiety issue anymore"

Let's lay upon the star like love lay upon you softly,
Love will see you, kiss you and dance with you slowly.
- PichMony



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