Life?

I sometimes forgot that I am lying to people. Because I am so used to say I'm "Okay" Because I don't want to sound weak or dramatic Because I don't want be a victim, I want to be strong. IC:  chipaitsme_ There was a lot on my head for the past days and I have been emotionally everywhere. Lost between space and time. Lost between places and people. There was a lot to process. And I tried my best to process. She asked me "Are you okay?" I told her "Yea yea, I'm just a little bit hungover that's all" And she said "From last night? it's the afternoon now, you seem not in the moment" I said "yea I know, I seem high and shit but im just hungover" I was hungover, but more of having a depression episode because of all the thing that is happening, all of the question I have asked myself for the past days because I thought it was a good idea to self-reflect. I mean it was good but it was too much and

I have faith. I believe in faith. I believe something will happen. Something as in anything. I believe believing will help me, push me to somewhere so something could happen. I have faith, faith in being able to obtain something. There are times when I cover myself with purple-blue and just say "fuck it" Nothing will, nothing   will ever happen. And as long as I remember, as many as I count. All down purple-blue time I had gone through it never last longer than the rainbow. I will be back on my feet and ready for another ritual. And like any other ritual, after you do it. You just wait for it, hope for it to work. Have faith it in, believe  in your ritual. If it fails, you just gotta get up and do it again. But examine the flaws of the last ritual, how did it go wrong? Look for other possibilities, and please don't blame it on yourself. The problem is not always from you but instead from one of the ingredients or the unevenness of the geometric