Anxiety; How it ruined my relationships

Here is something very personal.

I'm single for a long time, I have one ex-boyfriend.
We broke up on text, he just said "I can't take it no more" and left.

I didn't know what's wrong with me. I blamed everything on him.
Well, he is still shitty no doubt but at the time I told myself it was 100% his fault.

Over time,

History repeats itself

I kept finding myself in the same situation where my anxiety get the best of me and ruin "us"

You see, I have this friend, her name is Anxiety.
She comes out every time I have a slight doubt about myself and she made it worse.

Just simple things she makes it big, that's like her superpower.

Credit; Singg

"He left me on seen and he's probably busy but my friend anxiety says my boyfriend is ignoring me because I did something wrong" my friend anxiety got to me.

When I think I did something wrong, I get panic "what did I do?" I'll start to apologize for what I did, even if I didn't do anything wrong.
Until he gives me a validation, I will still be panicking.

"He left me on seen and he's probably busy but my friend anxiety says I'm not enough for him, he is leaving me and he is with another guy right now" my friend anxiety got to me again.

When I feel like I am not enough I start to apologize and asking him questions, annoys him for a validation that I am good enough.

Later on, he said "I can't take it no more" and then leave.

"He left me because I was too much to handle, its all my fault, everyone leaves me because I am annoying, nobody can stay with me" and my friend anxiety agrees with it.

I get along too well with this friend

People tell me "my friendship with anxiety isn't healthy" I agree.

I am trying my best to leave this friend but it is hard cause that friend keep following me no matter how much I push her away.

Over time, I am getting better at ignoring her,

Proof that time heals 

I am hoping for a future without this friend, anxiety.
I am fighting for this future without her, anxiety.
I will have a future without anxiety.

You will see me without it.
I will tell you, you can get over your "friends" also.

Trust this friend on the internet, this good friend.
No matter how long it takes you, you will make it.
Maybe not in one piece but with the only pieces that you need.

Stay positive

Writing blog is one of my many ways to stay positive.
By encouraging other people to be positive and motivated, it helps me also to be that.

take the chance to be happy 

Thank you.