Anxiety; I like and don't like being alone.

I'm outside and extremely sick, being outside does not make it any better but still, I came out.

Currently, I am in a cafe, my favorite cafe.
My nose is running, I am coughing a lot and loud.
People can notice that I am very sick, some of them might even be annoyed by my coughing sound.
I am super cold but I am ignoring all of that by focusing more on this book I'm reading "The Sun is also a Star" and sipping my hot Jasmine tea - Favorite tea.

I put my reading book down, took out my notebook and decided to write my mind out,

You might be wondering, just like the people in the cafe with me right now "why are you here while you are extremely sick, just go home and rest"

The fear of loneliness is far more scarier than me dying of a sickness

I can't go home, I don't wanna go home.
If I go there I will be alone in my room with my sickening mind.

It's Scary to be alone with my head

So I force my sickening self to be here, surrounded by random people who I don't know but somehow I feel comfort.

Definitely not good for sicking self but better for my mental self.

"What about going out with your friends?" I know, But I don't feel like meeting them, any of them.

4 hours past, still I dont wanna leave this cafe and go home but my physical state can't take it no more.

Most of my blog end with some sort of a happy ending or a positive come out.

But this one I'll leave it here.

Will I feel better or not, you interpret it.

Make the ending your ending, how you wanna end it - I trust you, my internet friends.