Anxiety: Constantly thinking of the worst

He went out on a Friday night with a boy.
That night,
He told his anxiety to stay at home this night just for this night.
He begs his anxiety to stay in his room this hour just for this hour.
But it is hard to control Anxiety.

He arrived at the date, saw the boy.
His anxiety said "Don't crew this up, the boy seems nice"

They began to talk
And even when he's talking, focusing on the boy his anxiety won't stop whispering into his ear,
"I think you are being too close, move back"
"You are talking too much let him speak"
"You are staring at him, STOP"
"Ýou are being too loud"
"He stops talking, you did something wrong"

"It's hard to have conversations with other people when there's already a conversation inside your head"

1 hour into the talking, he managed to put his anxiety underwater and finally be able to relax a bit.
But his anxiety still screams from the bottom of the ocean.

"This is not going well"
"Don't panic keep smiling"
"Now you are not looking at him all"

He ignores it, ignores all the screaming.
He focused on the chair he was sitting on, he focused on the light shining in front of him, he focused on the air blowing from the ceiling fan and he focused on the boy's face, the boy's body movement.
And for a while, he managed to lock anxiety away where it can't scream nor touch him at all.

The date ended, we both went home.

He said to himself "That was a great night"
His anxiety said "but was it a great night for the boy?"

He and Anxiety send a message to the boy "Are you home?"
1 hour later, no reply.

His anxiety said "He will never text you again, the date went bad"
He said "No, the boy just probably went to sleep"

Anxiety and Him argued for hours.
He tried his best to overstep anxiety.
It took a while but he managed to sleep.

He woke up to zero message from the boy.
Anxiety and Him had a 3 hours conversation of what may he did wrong or what may he said wrong to the boy.
And all of these "maybe(s)" comes up.
He might do or say so many wrong things.

"And it is all my fault" he said.

2 hours later the boy replied "I'm okay and I miss you too"
His anxiety was wrong.

(iStock/frimages)

I Know your battle with anxiety seem like something you can never win.
But it is wrong, you can win.
It takes practice.

Keep fighting that battle.
When anxiety tries to bring you down, tell it to shut up.
This is my head, and this is my voice.
Don't let its toxic power control you.

You can fight it, You can win it.
Love,
Youself

This Story depicts the conversation of anxiety with its person.
A conversation where nobody else can hear but just anxiety and its person.
You never know when a person is fighting over his/her anxiety, be considerate and love.