Love; The inevitable

This is a story of me and my love life.

I have like this person for the past 5 years. 

I sound like an idiot I know but I don't know why I just keep getting into it.

For someone who works in the field of mental health, I should know better and avoid it right? 

Now if this was someone else situation I would tell them to stop because it's hella toxic.

But it's me, I am toxic. 

How do I un-toxicate myself?

I don't know. 

Well for those out there who are in the same situation as me, good luck.

Please be better than me.

CR;Morgan Gunther

I have been liking this person for the past 5 years of my life.

It never went like anywhere, every time we try driving somewhere it always hits a dead-end.

And I've never learnt my lesson NO. I kept on driving with him every time I got the chance to.

Thinking "hey, this 5th time is going to be different right?" NO 

And when we get to the dead-end, I get mad.

Stupid right? Why am I still expecting something crazy this 5th time? Why am I expecting anything at all? seriously I ask myself that question every time. 

I am a learning psychologist why am I this dumb. 

Can't I read the pattern out of this sick show I am doing?

You can already tell that Im reaching that dead-end again, that's why Im writing this.

And yes, you are right. 

So here is an open letter to all of my friends who are blind to love when there certain signs. 

I know you feel amazing at that moment you are with that person, but remember the criss-cross, the chessboard pattern.  

Call yourself a psychic because you can see the future, the future of what you are doing right now.

It won't end well. No matter how hard you try. 

And yes I am telling you to give up because I rather have you give up on him than giving up on yourself. 

It's never going to go anywhere. 

Dream do come true but he isn't your dream. 

Be strong, stand up and look at yourself. 

You are an amazing person who deserves everything and I say everything!

"All bad things must come to an end"

And it is not easy doing what right, god if it was that easy I would keep mine to 1 year instead of fucking myself over a dude for 5 years trying it out 5 times.
But we can always try, right? try our best to do what is best for us.

Thank you.
This internet friend of yours is supporting you, through every decision you make.
But always try to put yourself first.

Love,
Yourself