Anxiety; I don't think I'm pretty

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We live in a society where we constantly being compared and judged. 
You are a girl do you have white skin? smooth cute face?
You are a guy do you have a 6packs? Are you tall?
You are gay? you don't "look" gay.
You are transgender? you got plastic surgery? you are so fake.

I am not proud to say I am living in this generation.
Where people starve themselves just so that they can get skinnier for an Instagram picture.
Where people give comment on someone's appearance like it's nothing.
Where women don't date men that are shorter than them.
Where men don't date women that are taller than them.
Where mom would force her son to take pills to be taller.
Where dad would force his daughter to get bigger breasts.

It's sickening.

I am insecure,
I get anxious when I dress, I don't know if it looks good on me.
I am insecure about my height, skin color and ...
I am scared of other people's opinions on how they see me.

And I am actually taking pills for my height
And I actually bleached my skin
And I try to be pretty.

Still, I don't feel better
And still, I get comments from people.
Joke or not, my anxiety accepts it as truth.

I am now I'm wondering again why am I so ugly?
Why can't I just be pretty like that guy on Facebook?
Maybe then people will like me more,
Maybe then I will actually have a boyfriend,
Maybe then I would be happy.

All these questions about my appearance are hurting me, inside.
And I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know how I can change myself anymore.
I don't know how I can please everyone.

I don't want to be ugly.

For all the people out there who are facing the same issue as me.
You are pretty.
You are beautiful.
You are gorgeous.

I wish you could see yourself and accept you.
I hope you will see yourself and accept you.

I sound like an idiot, telling you to accept yourself where I can't even do it.
I don't know when I can confidently say "I'm pretty" but  I know you can.

Go far than me,
And come back to tell me you did it,
Maybe by then, I will also accept myself.

But please it's not good to be stuck here on this planet of "I am not pretty"
I hope you can leave this planet and reach the star.
I hope you can set root on that star and shine.
I hope you can run away from your anxiety.
I hope you all the best.

From this friend on the internet.
Love,
yourself




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