Life?

Came to the realization of having an episode made me super artistic. It's 3 in the afternoon, haven't got out of bed. We can all relate to that. I'm texting my friends, ranting about my love life, it's horrible. Background: I decided to shut myself out from the dating world because I don't think I could go through another breakup. I told her "I am dying, I'm craving for what I swore to not have, I wanna feel affection and even if it's in a short period of time or fake." She said, "Are you sure that's affection and do u really want that?" "don't you think that would just make everything worse?"  And I didn't really know how to reply to her, She is probably right, I shouldn't do that. IDK, maybe it will make me feel better, but then again everything does have an end, and now I am sure it won't make me feel better. I told her "I am killing my needs, needs of affection so ...

This problem where it begins from me but somehow it affect other people. It is hard, frustrating and I am not very sure what to do. This habit, it's annoying. Remember when you ask me if I am okay and I said "Yes, I am just tired" actually no, I wasn't just tired. I was depressed, I had an episode, I was dying inside, and for some reason, I can never get myself to say it. Remember when you ask me to go out and I said "Sorry, I not feeling well" actually no, I was crying, drowning in my own thoughts, I was afraid, and for some reason, you blame yourself thinking it's because of it. I am sorry, I did not mean to make you blame yourself, I blame myself for it too. But that isn't healthy though. And with how much I know I am still struggling. But that's okay, it is what I have always told myself. @Reno Nogaj So don't worry, I am fighting it, I am getting better, and I am living. This problem will be gone, I promise you. Soon i...

There he was, standing on the edge of a cliff.  Down that cliff, he saw so many beautiful  flowers and without a second thought,   he jumped down. He landed on the  flower petals. W ith its soft touch, he said "It felt like I just jumped on to pillows"  And there he was, wandering around the flower field. He can smell the scent of every flower there, smiling at the one he finds pretty and without hesitation, he picked some - took them into his arm. But he had not known that they have thorns. "This is nothing, I will just find the one without thorns and be careful the next pick" And the story start, a boy in a field of flowers. With every thorn that pricked into his finger, he said  "I will be super careful next time, surely not every flower here have thorns and I will find that one"  With high determination, he continues. Now, he used almost every bandage he has to cover up the wound from those damn thorns. "But I can't ...

I am obsessed with love stories, why? I imagine myself in them. For those who are not familiar with this book/movie. It's a love story of two teenagers with cancer. But they both look like normal teenagers, He is super athletic, jock and hunky dude, his name is Augustus Waters. She is short, small, pretty looking and sweet, her name is Hazel Grace. Well besides, his fake leg and tube going in her nose. They are normal teenagers in love. I am not telling the whole story, Just the part where she said,  "There are small infinity within big infinity" And "You gave me a forever within the numbered of days"  Isn't it beautiful? Her forever was that amount of day he was with her. You might think that isn't forever, but it is. Who to judge nor give people definitions of their own time? That is her forever and she is happy with it. Her infinity was inside another infinity. You might think that's wrong, but it isn't. You know ...

I was 16, and just moved from the border of the country to this new world call "The City" I was so excited to see, like I was blind before. I was so excited to feel as if I cant feel before. I was so excited to live.  This new world, "The City" has me fascinated, everything here including love is so Something . Something  I can't ever imagine nor comprehend. A few months in this new magical and vase place, I came across Something . It was A boy and of course, I met "a boy" before but this time it is different. A boy   made my stomach feels weird like I was eating the purest thing on this earth. A boy  speaks to me like poetry that is sang by the mermaid.  "We took a trip to the moon" We merge, combine or fit as like two puzzle pieces, And as a puzzle usually when they fit, they stick... together. "A puzzle of Young love" We said. You probably read enough to know Young love doesn't really end...

Here is my interpretation of the phrase "same same but different" A love story of a German boy and a Cambodian girl. Same love, different... everything. His name, Ben Her name, SreyKeo Their love, no word can describe "I love you," said Ben "I love you too," said SreyKeo They do love each other, very very very much. She said "if you love me, marry me PLEASE, build me a house LATER, stay with me and my family FOREVER" He said "if you love me, understand me PLEASE, let's get marry LATER, we will be together FOREVER" Don't blame any of them. Both of them are not wrong but right in their own way. Sreykeo; that's how she was taught, that's how people tell her what Love means and that is how she imagines Love is. Ben; that's what he understands, that's how he sees Love and that's how he wants Love to be. They do love each other, believe me, they do. But their definition of love is so differe...

Does this mean hope makes you fly? is that good? what if you fly too high? According to the ancient Greek, "hope" was introduced by Pandora who opened her box and unleashes all the chaotic and darkness into the world and comes with it "H O P E" The little bring light that shrines inside all of this darkness Here is my story on having too much hope. Where my little light shines brighter than any darkness. You might think this is good, but no it's not. Going back to our question, what if you fly too high? you reach the sky? or fall back down and die. I can't tell you which one is the "right answer" because our hope is equipped with difference wings and feathers. I don't even know myself which kind of feathers my hope has. But I sure know it takes me high, too high where sometimes I think I will drop down and die. You see, I have high hope :D Again, no it's not a good thing. Because of my hopes, I sometimes ignore the ...